Hey look, I came back!

Ok, I am a VERY bad blogger! Actually I kind of let life take over and overwhelm me. I haven't even sat down to do any scrapbooking for a few months now which is really not cool because it makes me even further behind than I already was!

A lot has changed since I posted last. Remember that job I was thinking about? Well, God had his own plans for me. As of August I'll be a new Algebra teacher here in town. There are days when I think I'm crazy and wonder what I'm doing, and then there are other days when I can't wait to get started again. I'm looking forward to getting to know the kids and other teachers and just being a bigger part of the community. I don't know what the twins are going to think of this. They've had mommy all to themselves for so long............and it makes me want to cry sometimes when I think about leaving them with someone else. Why, I ask God sometimes? I'M not ready for this!! Oops there's that I word...........he's always getting me on that one. It's not about ME it's about what's best in his plan and obviously this is it. He's moving my "mission field" to the local high school and making me stretch my wings for him. I know he knows what he's doing, but all this change is enough to make this little ol' human cringe and worry more than I should. Oh well, as long as I keep my eyes on Him it'll all work out for the good just like He promised.

Think I'll end with a top ten list. Here's the Top Ten Reasons that Michelle has totally lost her sanity:

10. Working out transportation for getting kids to church camp.
9. Getting plans made and finalized for the mission trip. (Why am I doing this all by myself again?)
8. Baseball games 2 nights a week.
7. Playing softball on Friday night.
6. Swim meets every Wednesday.
5. Swim practice every morning at 7 (this is SUMMER, are they NUTS?!?! LOL!)
4. Keeping up with 3 year old twins.
3. Trying to find time to get all the bills paid on time.
2. Housework.............don't even ASK how long it's been since I dusted the furniture!
1. Applying for a job, getting it and realizing that my whole LIFE is going to change when August gets here!

I think I'm going to need a vacation from SUMMER vacation! Oh well, it's all fun and I'm loving seeing my boy excel at what he does best. As a certified geek it's going to be hard for me to raise a jock that is fairly smart, but who'd rather be playing ball than reading a book! :-) Hopefully I can come here a little more often to unload and just journal my day so that maybe something that I've experience will inspire or encourage someone else.

Happy Independence Day to all of my fellow US citizens!

I need to get out more!

Tonight I found out a good friend is pregnant. Not unusual you might say, but I guess it's been common knowledge for a few weeks now. Everyone in the ladies circle at church knew, except me! I think I've been hanging around with the kids too much. LOL! Oh well, I guess you can't know everything.

It was a good day, and I don't really have too much to talk about tonight. I really need to get back to my healthy living program. (Those brownies I made for the circle meeting didn't do me any good I can tell you that!) I can tell I'm not exercising again. It's funny how your body lets you know when it doesn't like what you're doing )or not doing as the case may be).

About that decision I'm working on.......well, I'm really leaning towards NOT putting in my application. It's going to take some more prayer and thought, but it's just not feeling like the right thing for me and my family right now, but.........maybe God's got another idea. I just have to go one day at a time and listen for His answer.

Off to bed now. I am one tired mamma and I ache all over for some reason. I hope I am not getting anything. I have too much to do to get sick! HA HA! I'm sure Nicole and Miranda feel the same way.

Decisions, decisions!

I'm BAACK! And I'd say it's about time too. LOL! Last week was just a total loss with everything. Being sick the first 3 days of the week sure didn't help me any I'll say that much. Then I just got into an I don't want to do anything mood........and the rest is history! That and I think I might drive myself crazy trying to decide whether to apply for the math job at FSHS or not. There are so many positive and negative reasons for me that I just don't know what to do. I realize that just because I apply doesn't mean I'll get it at all, but there's a good possibility since math teachers aren't a dime a dozen by any means. I just don't know whether I'm ready to give up staying home with the girls yet. I absolutely LOVE being able to be here with them everyday, watching them grow, helping them learn new things......*SIGH!* This one's going to take a LOT of prayer and faith. Maybe I'll put down some of the reasons for and against while I'm here. Might help shed a little light on a decision. Ok, here goes:

Why I would want to apply for the job:
1. Being able to stay in touch with my youth kids on a daily basis (at least most of them).
2. Adult interaction and conversation
3. New friendships
4. I am a good math teacher
5. Less $$ worries (able to save more, etc)
6. Being a more active member of the community as a whole
7. Vesting my retirement fund (I quit with one year short!)
8. Sharing my knowledge with a new set of kids
9. Being able to be a positive Christian influence on more kids in town
10. Having a housecleaner would make a lot more sense. LOL!
11. Josh could come hang out with me after school
12. My youth kids have said they think it'd be great if I was there

Why I would not want to apply for the job:
1. I would miss being with my girls all day!!
2. Grandpa needs someone around just in case something happens
3. I would miss seeing Kenny at lunch a couple of times a week
4. Paying for child care, clothes, lunches, etc
5. What would my MOPS gals do without me? (I love you guys!)
6. Being able to go places with mom or Amanda or whoever on a weekday sure is nice!
7. Wouldn't have as much time to put into my youth work
8. Would probably have to quit my PC biz (actually I did better at it when I was working full time! LOL!)
9. Not as much time to spend on my hobbies/interests
10. I would miss being with my girls all day!

Looks like a pretty even match up to me. Ok, Lord this one's for you. I have NO IDEA what I'm supposed to do on this one. Sometimes I think that I shouldn't even worry about it because I'm not all excited about this job being a possibility. Then Kenny reminded me that if I had my way, I wouldn't ever go back to a real job. And how right he is, but I know that I am going to have to someday if we want to be able to stay where we are. Then I get to thinking about how maybe God has other things in store for us. Oh I am so CONFUSED! The biggest thing is leaving my girls. Oh how I love those babies/toddlers/hooligans! We have so much fun together........and then when Josh gets home, it all just gets better. I love being a mom. Did I say that before? If not, it's true. I love kids. My kids, my youth kids, my MOPS kids, the kids in children's church. I love them all! I always have loved kids. That's another reason for considering the job. I'd get to know and love even more kids! Ah!! I think I need to quit now as I am driving myself mad with all these crazy thoughts. Pray, Michelle, PRAY! And then listen for his still, small voice to give you the answer.

Bad blogger, bad blogger!

I finally got around to posting here again. Has it really been a week? GEESH, am I behind. That's why I never keep a paper journal....I always forget to write in it! LOL! I don't really know much. It's been busy but not really around here. I am starting to stress about MOPS on Friday. We don't have a MOPPETS worker which is really going to be a pain I think. I've got one more phone call to try........Ok, Lord I'm giving this to you again. Please help me find someone willing to work with the preschoolers on a full time basis at MOPS. I can't do this on my own. I know you have someone in mind, just send them my way Lord. THANKS!

I got the youth started thinking about the 30-Hour Famine on Sunday. Did you know 29,000 kids die each day from hunger related disease? 29,000! And here we sit trying to figure out whether to cook supper or order take out. Americans don't know how good they've got it. That's part of my focus this year with the youth. I want them to realize just how good they do have it. I want them to start thinking outside of themselves (I want it for me too) and think of ways they can help, even here in our little ol' town. God's got big plans for us I know. And it's amazing how the outlook has changed at church since our day of 24 hour prayer. Ah how we easily forget that turning to God can cure what ails his family! I am anxious to see what kind of temptations and snares Satan throws at us..........and how God uses the praying church to combat those snares.

I also need to give up my Pampered Chef business to the Lord. I need to start thinking of it as a ministry and not a burden. God knows what plans he has for me and this business. I just need to trust him and put forth a little effort too! :-)

Well I better go to bed now. I spent the last hour paying bills...UGH! That's a task I just hate doing because it depresses me and makes me want to pull my hair out. I so want us to get out from under those crazy credit cards, but somehow we're going to have to change our spending habits. Oh, there's one more thing to give to God! I think I see a pattern here, I don't know about you. LOL!

Proverbs 3:5-6

Pink paint anyone?

Yes, I said Pink Paint! Mom and I spent the day painting and redecorating the girls' room today. What fun we had! Especially since we had to try and keep a couple of 2 year olds from trying to help us. Woo--EE, now that was a challenge! Thankfully the "Little Mermaid" and "Home on the Range" can get them to sit still for awhile. I do have a plethora of Easter Egg colored paints now though. Ah, but I won't complain. It was so fun putting their room together and spending the day with my mom! Thanks, mom.

So, I now plan on spending the rest of the week accomplishing the list that I made yesterday.

Oh, and did I tell you that I lost a pound this week? Hey, it's not much, but it's SO much better than gaining a pound! At this rate it'll only take me 6 months to lose all my extra weight. LOL!!! Yes, I'm trying to lose some weight and have God's temple look a little more healthy and fit like he meant it to be. It's a hard road but I've got some good friends at SBB helping me out. You go girls! And the Lord's going to help me too. I know some people don't think he cares much about the mundane little things in our lives, but I would beg to differ. After all Jesus said that we shouldn't worry about ANYTHING, so he must take some interest in what we eat and wear and look like! I know we're not all super models (nor do I even want to be!) but he's got a divine plan for us all and I know I for one am NOT following it.

Enough preaching for tonight. I am tired, my toes are cold and I have a headache. A nice warm bubble bath sounds really good at the moment.

Phenomenal Day!

Wow, has it really been 5 days since I've posted here? Oh well, nothing lost since it doesn't look like anyone comes and reads this anyway! LOL.

Today was just SUPERB! I am so pumped about how things are looking at church again. There for awhile we just seemed to keep dwindling, and losing families and it was almost depressing! Then today I walked into the sanctuary and WOW there were people who hadn't been there for AGES. I can't explain the thrill it gave me, and the thanks I gave to God for bringing them. Not only that, but when we got to youth group, there ended up being 15 kids. We haven't had 15 kids at a meeting since I've been there. Thank you Lord for bringing them in and making everything work in your good timing! I know I can't take any personal responsibility for this one, it's ALL God's doing. I'm just going to do my best to make it fun and lead them the way the Lord wants me to. Thanks again, Lord and let me be your instrument to reach these kids for you! You know I love them all like they were my own.

What a difference I can see in my life and the things I am involved in when I give daily of my time to the Lord. For so long I have neglected giving him any of my day, and boy have I become GOOD at making excuses! Ah, but I CAN sit and watch and hour or two of TV every night.........what a crock of stuff I've been trying to put over on the one being who knows absolutely EVERYTHING about me but loves me anyway.

Tonight we used some illustrations from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" to talk about God's love and who deserves that love. I realized that none of us really DESERVE it, but he gives it to us anyway. Just like none of those rotten kids (or even Charlie) deserved to get to see the chocolate factory, but Willy Wonka let them in anyway! Amazing what we can see when we look at culture through God's glasses sometimes.

Here's my "wish" list for the upcoming week:
*Get the twins' room painted. That will be fun since they are going to want to help.
*Pay Jessica for babysitting 3 weeks ago! If you read this Jess, I AM SO SORRY!!!! Michelle is a very absent minded blonde!
*Get the mission trip planned
*Make plans for the next 3 months youth meetings...........now THAT will be an interesting feat for me! LOL!
*Pay the ever dreaded monthly bills. ICK!
* Pray for all my youth and family on a daily basis.
*Hope that my weight is less this Monday than last Monday!
*Exercise and spend time with the Lord everyday.
*Enjoy my family.

Looks like a good bit of fun to me! Thank you again, Lord for bringing in your children. Help me to lead them as you would give direction. Make me more like Jesus with every passing day.

Satan's seeking to devour us!

I talked with my hubby tonight and boy is Satan working hard right now. It's a long story for those who don't know, but our denomination is having a "go" with the whole homosexuality question, and is it wreaking havoc! I won't get into a long debate about the right and wrongness of choosing the homosexual lifestyle (and yes I did say CHOOSE) because it's only going to cause someone to become offended and then everything will get all blown out of proportion and the circle will go on and on and ON! I do however have the right to tell you if I don't agree with you and let you know why. It seems however that the leadership in the executive offices of our denomination don't believe as I do. If you don't agree with them, and you make too much noise, out the door you go. To me that is wrong, wrong, wrong! One of the great things about our country is that we're supposed to be able to believe as we choose as long as it doesn't interfere with the job we do or cause another human bodily harm. But heaven forbid we offend someone! In our world of easy litigation everyone is afraid of being sued. How sad that we've turned into a society of money hungry, intolerant beasts. I always thought it was more interesting when there was more than one opiniion in the room. It made for a much more interesting conversation and caused me to stretch my thinking and find further support for my convictions. But I am rambling....

*If you're a member of my youth, have you looked at Ephesians yet? Remember to wear your "armor" daily and watch the words that come out of your mouth! :-)

*I had a good day dancing today (read yesterday's post). I hope I can let him lead again tomorrow!

Dance with God

Tanner sent me this email tonight. I had received it before but never really took the time to read it. Thanks Tanner!
Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance.

I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.

The movement doesn't flow with the music,

and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,

both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back

or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another.

It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness,

and attentiveness from one person

and gentle guidance and skill from the other.



My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.

When I saw "G: I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i".

"God, "u" and "i" dance."

God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust

that I would get guidance about my life.

Once again, I became willing to let God lead.



My prayer for you today is that God's blessings

and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.

May you abide in God as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead

and to guide you through each season of your life.
And I Hope You Dance !

What a great way to think of the word Guidance and how true it is! We have to be willing to let God lead and not try to take over.

*I think I need to work harder at letting Him lead, especially in my physical realm. I so need to lose this extra weight and get my temple back into the shape that I know He wants it in. Oh Lord just let me be willing to let you lead in this one!

I can only Imagine

I am so tired tonight! This weekend has been draining both physically and emotionally, and i'ts only Saturday night. We spent Friday night and this morning at a Marriage retreat. I really enjoyed it and I hope Kenny and I can make good use of many of the ideas that we brought away with us. This was the first time in 14 years of marriage that we've done anything like this, and I really think it was a good thing. The Lord really spoke to both of us through Dale and Nori. I'm praying that we'll keep on trying to establish a Godly family.

This afternoon was so hard, but it was also a joy. One of my oldest and dearest friends' mother passed away this week and today was the funeral. What a joyous occasion! She was such a woman of faith that you couldn't help but rejoice because her body was finally whole again. And although we will miss her sweet presence we are confident that we'll all get to see her again in paradise. One thing about funeral is that they tend to bring people home. I was so overjoyed to see and old friend that I had let get away from me. We both shed tears of joy and laughter when we saw each other. Oh how sweet it was! I can only imagine how sweet the reunion we'll have in Heaven will be.

This evening we were honored by our pastor and his wife. They held a dinner for the church leadership, and it was such a lovely evening. The twins acted so well. I must say I was a proud mommy! How nice it was to be appreciated in such a lovely way.

Well, I suppose I should head to bed now so that I can be a fully functional part of church.

What a day for a daydream!

I don't know what my title has to do with anything that happened today! I just had that little song running through my head when I started this though. I will admit I have a tendency towards daydreaming. I dream about all the things I should and could be doing and how I could be doing them and then I have a hard time following through. I realized the other day that it's because I have a terrible fear of screwing up and failing. Maybe one of these days I'll be brave enough to share my journalling on that topic, but not yet.

I read the first chapter of Mark this morning (between cleaning Josh's glasses and helping him find his coat so he wouldn't miss the bus). I also read the introduction to the book before I read the actual scriptures too. It never occurred to me how excited Mark is to tell the story of Jesus. He just dives right in and lets you know that this guy is for real! And his enthusiasm never wanes throughout the entire book. Oh for an exictement like that about Jesus! I sometimes am so surprised about how excited I can get about going on a vacation, watching a new movie, or waiting for the next Harry Potter book to come out but when it comes to getting excited about my prayer time and my quiet time or even going to church some days.......boy is that enthusiasm lacking! Maybe that's why the Lord led me to that particular place today. He wanted me to learn to get even more excited about him like I do about the other things in my life.

*My prayer today is that I work towards being a Mark. I want to be excited about Jesus ALL the time and want to tell the world because I just can't contain myself!

My first entry!

Ok, so I'm jumping into this blogging thing. But where do I start? I know it doesn't have to be perfect....but that's really HARD for me! I just have to remember why I'm doing this and where I got the name from. You may know the old hymn "Just a Closer Walk With Thee." I know that I need to work on my walk with Jesus and I figured that as much as I sit at this crazy old machine it'd be pretty logical to use a blog to record some of my thoughts about my relationships, especially with the Master of the Universe. I know that some people may read this and get offended. If you do I'm sorry, but that' the thing about these blogs. They're MY thoughts and MY opinions. Just because you read this doesn't mean you have to agree with it. :-) So now I'm rambling..........

*If you're part of my youth group and are reading this, here's a quick question for you. How have you been living out your trust in God this week? Remember the questions from our game Sunday night? Hmm.....yeah, me too. Let's work on this one together. Especially the verse from Ephesians about everything that comes out of our mouth should be to build each other up. YIKES! That's tough, even for me.

*My hubby thinks this is crazy, letting anyone and everyone read my thoughts online. But maybe I'll touch somebody somewhere in a good way. That's me the eternal optimist. I see the good that could come from a situation and he looks at it all too practically (and rightly so a lot of times)! I love you honey!

*Finally I think I'll use this blog as a general record of me. A place where people can get to know the real me because I tend to clam up around them. I don't want to "bother" anyone so I'm always reluctant to talk about me or what's going on with me too much. Instead I let them do the talking.......so if I get carried away, forgive me! :-)

That's enough for a first post I think. If I keep going I'll have begun the next "great American novel" and that is not my intent at all. Good night, Lord and here's to a closer walk with you.